Until the Pain Would Cease
by grxcefully
Summary: One Shot. Percy's depression.


(A/N Hey guys.

This is a quick one-shot.

It's Percy Jackson and well. I can't really explain it but I felt like it needed to be written.

Enjoy.

Or die from a severe case of the feels.)

/ / / / /

Percy was curled up in his bed. The door to the Poseidon cabin was locked. He pulled the blanket over his head to block out the pounding on the door, Annabeth yelling at him to unlock it, get out of bed, move, let her in, do _something,_ anything to let her know that he was okay.

He couldn't do that. He wasn't okay.

Deep in his mind, somewhere, he was fighting it. Deep down, he knew he had to fight for Annabeth, for Camp Half Blood, for his friends, his family. But the emotionless emotions that he felt, the hollow, empty feeling inside… that was what kept him from falling asleep at night, and getting up in the morning, walking out of his cabin, to eat, to see the sun again. He couldn't move. He couldn't feel his own body. Nothing hurt anymore.

Not even the deep gashes on his thighs and wrists. He knew he was slowly wasting away, and that soon he wouldn't be able to control the urge to just end the pain. To stop feeling so empty and just cut off his own life and leave this terrible, sinful world of pain, endless pain and endless mistakes.

Riptide was in the corner. Percy purposefully wore sweatpants and a sweatshirt with no pockets, knowing that he had to keep the blade away from him, as far away as he could. He knew people loved him, and that if he just got up, and opened that door, and just let Annabeth in with her bowl of slowly cooling hot soup, and her perfect love for him, that he would be okay, and that temporarily, the hollowness would go away. She would gently press her lips against his and he would feel warm inside again, not this terrible coldness, emptiness, darkness… interminable pain.

He couldn't hold himself up.

Insomniac. Depressed. Lunatic. Crazy. Cutting. Lunatic.

Percy used too much effort to roll over in bed. He was facing the door.

He had a choice. He could heave himself up, stumble over to that door, and let Annabeth see him for what he was, let her see the deep cuts and the hollow, crazed look in his eyes. He could let her hold him, feed him, comfort him, take care of him, for just a little while. Or he could roll over and ignore her calls, her sobs, her screams for him to come out. Sometimes Will came. Or Piper. Or Nico, even, once. He knew they all wanted him to come out, make sure he was okay. He could ignore them forever, until he just died from starvation or from the sword.

He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

He remembered when Annabeth had kept him going, when all he could think of was her name, and that was what pushed him to continue on. To fight each monster, take each step until he reached Camp Jupiter.

 _Annabeth._

The sudden thought make his eyes fly open. _Annabeth._ She was his strength. She would hold him up, help him through all the pain.

He just had to let her in.

He stumbled out of the bed. He stood for a second, leaning on the wall. Breathe. One step. _Annabeth._ Two. Three. _Annabeth. On the other side of this door is the one that helps you live._ Four. Five. Six. _Annabeth._ _ **Annabeth.**_ _ **ANNABETH.**_ Three more steps.

One.

Two.

 _Annabeth…_

Three. He was there. Slowly he leaned on the wall, slowly reached for the door handle. _The lock,_ he thought, turning the handle without success. _Percy, you can do this._ Annabeth's calling stopped. She sobbed again, choking on her tears.

"Percy? Percy, oh my gods, Percy finally… Please… Please, Percy, Open the door, please…" He fumbled with the lock as she whispered to him. _Unlocked._

The door handle turned, and Percy stood there. It was wide open. Campers outside stopped and stared. Annabeth's gray eyes were huge.

Percy's face was pale as a ghost, and his sea green eyes were hollow and sunken. The bags under his eyes were dark. Percy's t-shirt hid none of the scars. Annabeth took a hesitant step forward. She reached carefully for his hand, and suddenly pulled him towards her. She didn't kiss him. Just wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on tiptoes, as he slowly, gently wrapped his arms around her. More campers stopped outside and soon there was a crowd, but Percy didn't look up at them, didn't move open his eyes.

He held onto Annabeth. Held onto what kept his heart beating, brain working.

Percy held onto Annabeth, Until the Pain Would Cease.


End file.
